Going through photos tonight, I found a picture of Todd and Vicki that I think captures them both pretty well. The photo was taken by Vicki without my permission.
About a month ago I completed my first treatment of Azedra - the nuclear medicine treatment. The first few weeks were really challenging for me because I was so radioactive that it was unsafe for others to be near me for even short periods of time and I had to isolate in our bedroom. I found out during that time that I need hugs to hold myself together mentally. Not like "oh, this is nice" but they reassure me that I'm ok both physically and socially. I chose not to hug my wife because I was so radioactive - the last thing I wanted to do is make her sick. But my choice of not hugging my wife until my radioactivity dropped to a safer level made me feel lonely and isolated. It was only when my radioactivity dropped and I was able to get more hugs from Bessie that I felt like my Azedra treatment was complete. As I met my hug quota and was appreciating the other rooms in our house, I noticed something - I felt pretty good! To be clear, feeling "pretty good" with my
"...There is room in the halls of pleasure For a large and lordly train, But one by one we must all file on Through the narrow aisles of pain." a portion of Ella Wheeler Wilcox's poem, Solitude I currently have my next Azedra (nuclear medicine) treatment scheduled for February 7th at the University of Pennsylvania hospital. I can't say I'm looking forward to it. The treatment itself is nothing troubling - my body will feel a bit off for a few days but the psychological impact of the required isolation afterwards is profound. As I've said before, hugs play a big part in me calculating my self-worth and being happy. As an introvert I don't miss crowds of people and it doesn't take much to fulfill my socialization requirements, but when I don't fulfill those requirements I feel terribly lonely. There's also the feeling of being a radioactive leper, with nurses donning little hazmat suits and ducking between lead panels to talk to me for a few mome
I'm at home recovering from my surgery. From all reports and the feelings I have, the surgery went well. My arm is bothering me, but I just had surgery and the pain is nominal and extremely manageable. They used liquid nitrogen to kill the cancer cells, hoovered them out, and then gave me my second bionic limb. I kinda wish I got to see it, but I would probably would have passed out watching it, especially if it was happening to me. So I'm resting and relaxing. I'm checking back in two weeks with the doctor to see how things are going. After that, I can resume treatments to try to stop the cancer in my gut.
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